Kane and Lynch 2: Dog Days

Now, my back catalogue of games has been huge for some time now. Thats the problem with not getting paid to do this. Kane and Lynch 2 has been in there for a couple of months now (4 I believe) but now its time to get down to business. Is it intense, gritty and realistic? More to the point, is it good?

STORY
Kane and Lynch 2 follows the story of two career criminals who are past thier prime (if they ever had one). Lynch is living in Hong Kong with his new love Xiu, whilst still doing some dirty work for the local organized crime syndicate. Lynch calls Kane for aid in a risky deal, in return for a cut of the money. The shit hits the fan after Lynch kills the daughter of an extremely important man, and Kane and Lynch are soon fighting for their lives.

The story that IO interactive are trying to tell isn't necessarily a bad one, its just executed poorly. Unless you've played the first game, you don't really understand why Lynch is in Hong Kong, or whats going on with the whole "Kane's daughter" sub plot. Some parts of the story just seem absolutely retarded as well, one such moment occurs when, instead of using a single well guarded car to transport Kane and Lynch, the local authorities decide to take a fleet of high powered choppers. What the Fuck?

PRESENTATION
The visuals in this game are pretty terrible, to be completely honest. Yea, the character models and animations are smooth, but whats the point of that if it looks like everythings filtered through the shittiest handheld camera imaginable. Everythings all hazy and all the lights emit this massive bar across the screen. And they blurred out all the nudity! I get that IO interactive were going for something different to emphasise the sheer ugliness of the situation, but that doesn't stop the game from still looking crap.

The voice acting is bland and uninteresting, and the Asia pop soundtrack is just annoying (in the menu screen at least; i forgot how the rest of the soundtrack sounds). As far as I can see, theres really not much in the way of redeeming factors for Kane and Lynch 2's presentation.

GAMEPLAY
With such lackluster story and presentation, one would hope that the gameplay would be Kane and Lynch 2's high point. And although that may be correct, that really isn't saying much. Dog Days is based around cover-based combat and while that works fine, it's really, really boring!

Yes, games like Gears of War and Uncharted have done this before, but each of those had their own unique flavour of cover-based combat. GOW had awesome, devastating weapons, whereas Uncharted had more verticality to it due to the platforming. What does Kane and Lynch have?.... Honestly, theres nothing new or interesting here.

Not only is it boring, but the controls are awkward. Who the hell puts a sprint button on the shoulder of the controller? Also not helping the gameplay is the crap presentation. Its difficult to shoot something that you can't see clearly thanks to bars of light across the screen.
This may sound like im nitpicking now, and thats probably because I am. Not because I hate Kane and Lynch, oh no. I honestly wanted to like this game, but its almost impossible to actually enjoy it. I'm nitpicking because I want to make this as long as an average review.

REPLAYABILITY
Kane and Lynch 2: Dog Days has a number of trophies/achievements to earn, but why you would bother is beyond me. It also features multiplayer, and It's probably the one redeeming factor of the game. Modes like fragile alliance are co-operative heists with a twist. At any moment, you or your team mates are able to gun down and betray the others, stealing more money for yourself.
While the concept is actually pretty cool, the gameplay once again slams it back down to Earth.

OVERVIEW
Don't buy it. For the love of god, it's better left at the bottom of the bargain bin. Hell, the only way I would suggest you get this game, is if someone is ACTUALLY PAYING YOU TO TAKE IT. Sure, I may be over reacting. Some people may appreciate the handy cam approach to visuals. And some people might actually enjoy the lackluster story. And yes, the cover-based combat is as solid as it was ever going to get. But really? Aren't there better games based off that same mechanic? For the love of god, go buy uncharted or Gears of War, or something!!!!

Stay tuned for my Donkey Kong Country Returns review. Just FYI, I'm posting these because I'm moving house tomorrow, and wont have the internet for about 10 days. And in 11 days, I'm flying to NZ, so this is my holiday fro reviewing. If I'm lucky enough to get near a computer while in NZ I'll be sure to post something.
See you next time!
P.S. Happy New Year!