14 years. It was in 1997 that Duke Nukem Forever had been officially announced by 3D Realms. In the near decade and a half since, Duke Nukem was stuck in developmental Hell. Numerous engine changes, reveal trailers and exclusive screenshots would remind us that DNF was still there, but it was little more than a joke. The biggest running joke in gaming, in fact. Now, 14 years after the first announcement, Gearbox Software looks to be bringing this joke to a close. And the real joke was..
That it was on us all this time.
STORY
Duke Nukem Forever picks up about 12 in-game years after the last canonical game. The aliens are back and they're looking to take over. But they shouldn't have taken our babes. That's the kind of shit that should be a no brainer by now. Stop taking Donkey Kong's bananas, and Stop taking The Duke's BABES! What follows are Dukes attempts to not only save our babes and our world, but to remain relevant in a world that, clearly no longer has a place for him.
Ok, that last part isn't part of the story, but Duke as a character seems pretty outdated. Mysogynistic, crass and more man than we've seen in quite some time; maybe the Duke is something that we really needed. Gaming today is full of gritty, conflicted characters, and strangely enough, Duke Nukem provides a more lighthearted machismo that, in my mind, sorely needs a comeback.
While none of the characters, save Duke himself, are on screen enough to really dwell on. What you need to know is Nukem retains his old personality, and it is somewhat entertaining. The story on the other hand isn't anything special. It's just a frame for Duke to do his manly action hero thing in, and I can appreciate it for that at least.
PRESENTATION
Duke Nukem Forever is a game that looks like it's a few years too late(yea, I know, it is, but shuttup). Gearbox could have done so much with the games visuals, but instead we get a blocky, grey and somewhat uninteresting setting across the board (aside from some locations, like the western styled ghost town). DNF was the perfect opportunity to bring back the colourful style of the oldschool shooters, but instead it subscribes to the same visual styles that make things like CoD, MoH and Battlefield so visually uninteresting.
The sound design is fairly boring, aside from the sweet electric guitar track playing across the opening and ending credits, and the smooth voice acting of Jon St John. His delivery is perfect for all the classic one liners and crude jokes that Nukem spouts. Honestly, while the lines can be somewhat cringe worthy, I thought they were more hit than miss. Sure, some of the more politically correct or modern of us might think that Dukes humour is dated but, in my view, a lot of it's still funny. Especially when DNF takes shots at other gaming franchises or developers.
Which makes it all the more sad when the gameplay lets it down, where those games would have delivered the goods.
GAMEPLAY
Leading up to it's release, optimists were hoping Duke Nukem Forever would be the end of only-two-weapons-at-once syndrome, grey and gritty backdrops and the regenerating health meter. Oh how wrong they were.
While Duke Nukem Forever makes jokes at the expense of games like Halo and Gears, it makes use of some of their most basic mechanics, despite the oldschool games not doing so.
First off, having two weapons is fine in some games. Military shooters, yea, it's perfectly acceptable to be limited to two weapons. But the Duke is meant to be more man than God himself. He should be able to lug around a whole armoury, not just two weapons he finds on the ground.
I just think that it suits the character better to be able to fuck some alien shit up in 8 different ways, at least, without having to drop a weapon. The gunfhighting gameplay is mixed up occasionally with Duke's access to Beer and Steroids to make him resilient and stronger, but it doesn't add enough to keep it interesting.
This would have been excusable if it weren't for The Duke's health system. While a "health" bar is present, it's regenerated by hiding behind cover, just like every other game ever. And Nukem isn't one to hide from a fight. To make matters worse, the health bar is actually Duke's Ego bar. His Ego regenerates while he hides behind a wall sucking his thumb. Riiiight. That makes no sense.
That said, the Ego Bar as a whole wasn't a bad idea. Having actions to lengthen this bar was a stroke of brilliance, and helps DNF with one thing that it does superbly. Humour. The Ego actions include checking yourself out in the mirror, taking a piss, drawing cocks on whiteboards, among various other activities. The biggest boosts come from more interactive mini-games, such as Pinball and AirHockey. These are sometimes more fun than the actual game part of the game.
To break up the monotonous shoot-hide-shoot sequences, DNF also features Vehicle sections in his monster truck (The Mighty Foot) as well as more platform-centric stages where Duke has been shrunk to action figure size. The vehicle sections work well, and launching a giant monster truck through the Las Vegas desert at high speed is damn good fun. The platforming sections on the other hand are a bit hit and miss. Platforming in First Person barely ever works, but I can excuse it here, because listening to Duke's usual hilarious lines in a high pitched mini-Duke voice make them so much funnier.
Boss fights are also fun, but there isn't much variation between them. It's hard to tell the difference between one giant grey alien and another. They are pretty funny, but saying that DNF is funny at this point is somewhat redundant.
REPLAYABILITY
Duke Nukem Forever is a game with not much replay value. Aside from the meh multiplayer (which I could barely get a connection on) theres little to no reason for playing the single player campaign again. However, one playthrough does reveal a number of extra goodies that are interesting to say the least. The saddest thing, however, is that the trailers from 10 years ago paint the picture of a better game that has been delivered. And that is a shame.
OVERVIEW
Duke Nukem Forever is a game that tries to keep its old-school sensibilities (or lack thereof) and mix it with the solid gameplay of todays heavy hitting FPS's. This is where, I feel, DNF has cocked it up. The dialogue and Ego actions are funny, but the gameplay doesn't have the fun factor to match.
While I kept playing for the one liners, other gamers may not be so forgiving. Let's face it, DNF looks preeetty bad. Like something from the very start of this generation, at best. They're functional, but thats all really.
I think that comedy is a hard thing to pull of in games. Very few games make me actually laugh out loud, despite me knowing that the dialogue or action is funny (see: Uncharted). Duke Nukem, for me, is laugh out loud funny. It's just a damn shame that the gameplay is grey, bland and boring. Gearbox, this is two from two you've failed in my eyes. *glare*
Next week, it's either InFAMOUS 2, Red Faction: Armageddon or Fable 3 (which has been a long time coming). If you want to have your say, head over to the poll on Facebook. See you next time!
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