Tophat Top 5: Best Ego boosts in Duke Nukem Forever

So, while I enjoyed Duke Nukem Forever, I can't ignore the glaring faults in it. The bad graphics, unappealing visuals and bland gameplay were almost enough to make me put down the controller. But, what kept me going was the humour that DNF held throughout. Many people found the jokes/visual gags immature and dated, but I found that they were timeless; stuff thats funny no matter what age you are or background you're from. Adding to this were the Ego Boosts. These are funny little activities that help boost Dukes overall health bar, allowing him to take more damage. So, on we go with Top 5 Ego Boosts in DNF!

NUMBER 5
Copier
Approach any photocopier you can find in the game and press the action button, and The Duke will turn around and sit his cheeks on it. The camera looks down to see numerous copies of Nukems ass printing. While not the most interactive Ego Boost, it certainly is one of the funnier ones.

NUMBER 4
DUKES GYM
I want to put these three Boosts in together because, alone, they aren't that amazing. Together however, they form the basics of Duke's gym, where he goes to be all that is man. Pick up some dumbells and start curling, stack the weights on and benchpress the hell out of them, or shoot some hoops; all to increase your Ego. And after all that, check yourself out in the mirror, coz what man doesn't do that? Oh and that Boosts your Ego too. Fitting.

NUMBER 3
SIGNING AUTOGRAPHS/DRAWING SHIT
While in the "tutorial stage", you find a whiteboard detailing "Operation Cockblock"; The EDF's plan to stop the rampaging alien in the stadium. I, as Duke, walked up, rubbed out most of the diagram and drew a penis entering the aliens butt. Coz it seemed like thats what Duke would have done. When backstage at Damn, It's Late, Duke gets asked to sign a boys book. Channelling the Duke himself, I drew a pair of tits. Lucky kid.

NUMBER 2
AIR HOCKEY
One of the most infuriating, yet addictive mini games in DNF also increases your overall Ego (and nabs you a trophy if you can win without letting your opponent score). The mechanics work well enough, but sometimes the disc acts as though it hasn't been touched. And we all know The Duke never misses.

NUMBER 1
PINBALL
This game pops up all over the place, and is just about as fun as normal pinball! That is to say, not particularly but damn it's addictive! The most annoying thing, however, is when you miss the ball, Duke says "I have balls of FAIL". What does that even mean? But I'll let it slide though, coz the pinball is almost more entertaining than the game itself.

Sorry about the lack of pictures, but I'm lazy, and it's hard to know if all of these have pictures floating around on the net anyways. See you next Sunday for my review of whatever it is that gets voted for the most!